All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

John Mayer, you know me too well.

It's true. It seems in this year of change all I've been doing is saying my goodbyes. Goodbye to my hometown, to my old friends, to my family's long running business and the most difficult so far, the one I love. Why is it that good things never seem to last? Is it because they aren't really as good as they seem or because something better is waiting for us in our future of unknown possibilities? After awhile you begin to fear when things are going to well because it seems there's bound to be a let down just around the corner. A horrible attitude perhaps but, in this day and age I think we'd prefer to be realistic then to be let down.

We're taught that change is good. Without change we would never learn, never grow, never discover new opportunities. How do we know when change is good? When to say goodbye, move on, start over, explore, or let go? What if the change we've made turns for the worst? I guess that's the funny thing about change. It's unpredictable, a gamble even. With each new step you have the potential to win or lose. Or so we think.

I'm beginning to question if it really is this black or white. Perhaps there is no such thing as good or bad change because each new situation inevitably carries aspects of each? Moving to a new city may bring negative feelings of loss or loneliness that will later lead to feelings of self discovery and accomplishment. Without one, it would be almost impossible to have the other. As if one has to earn the right to the good after enduring periods of bad.

Think of something in your life that makes you happy. Something that when you have it you feel as if nothing else in the world matters. Then imagine having to let it go. The thought alone can create an uneasy sense of anxiousness. What if saying goodbye meant a whole new world of opportunities? Your feelings may change. The tough part now is distinguishing between the two. How do I know if I'm losing something or if I'm really gaining in the end? If my goodbye is really worth all the grief. Reality is, there is no way of knowing.

So I say my goodbyes with blind faith and let go of all uncertainties. Goodbye familiar faces, goodbye security blanket, goodbye to the one I care for most. To everything comes an end, and to every goodbye there is a reason....even if we haven't figured it out yet.

Que Sera, Sera....