Script Dialogue Ideas

[I've been nervous all day, I'm finally going for my black belt tomorrow."

-" Black belt? Like Karate?"

" No, I'm nervous about heading over to Moores before their 30% off sale is over and snatching a black leather belt . I'm also fearing them potentially discovering I use it to beat children with.

Yes, Karate." ]

["Yeah, I applied to that University. Even sent them a letter. They sent one back saying " fuck off! we don't want you!"

- "Wow, I'm finding it hard to imagine this on paper."]

"Can’t sleep? Forget sheep. Count Ben Steins."

"I always found it funny how at the end of “Silence of The Lambs” Anthony Hopkins flees to Africa. I guess he prefers dark meat."

" I used to always say how much I hated one way streets, both literally and metaphorically. I've come to realize I love one way streets. As long as the direction is going my way." - Narration

["Yeah she's head of like everything "

"Yeah, well as far as I'm concerned she can be the head of my dick."] - the girl everyone hates

["Ouff, If he was my Dad I would Oedipus that shit up!"

"Technically since you're a female it would be the Electra complex rather than Oedipus."

"I'd go for Carmen Electra if I was a guy too."

"Why do I continue to convince myself it's possible to have an adult conversation with you?"

"I'm just saying, your Dad is hot."

"Please stay away from my family."]

- friend banter

"Add water to the soup, we've got company!"- Hick family

"Maybe we avoid getting our hopes up too high because we’re afraid of the height of the fall." - Narration

"Ey Keeds, ijue ungree? A course youwa. I mak-e-con-queso!" (Unstable Spanish Mother Character) "Maria"

" Kids. They just don't make 'em the same anymore. Now, am I right or am I right? You know, it just GRINDS my GEARS. Gosh darn... I had no idear." (Northern Ontario hick who speaks in pidgin English...often slightly intoxicated) "Delmer"

The Professor

"It's been said that he has no CTRL key on his keyboard, for he is in control at all times. Now that's a man we should aspire to be."

"Wow....what model of computer does he have?"

"It appears that not only is humour beyond you, but also the restraint from embarrassing yourself in front of the entire class."

*whispers to student next to him*

"I hate this guy, he never answers questions."]

"Yummy Cummy in my Tummy" - the words of an adult prostitute Michelle Tanner years post Full House

There are a group of people i'd like to shove in a confined closet and lock them up together then melt the key.

I'd let them feed off each others negative shit personality energy, then I'd bring all of their belongings to a pawn shop , and buy myself a car.

And I could say it was fuelled by hate,

Literally.

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[ " I just lost disrespect for you "

" oh shit...she means business when she pulls out the double negatives..." ]